Facing anxiety head-on and approaching it differently can enhance your life.
That’s according to David H. Rosmarin, PhD, a psychologist and associate professor at Harvard Medical School, who delivers the advice in his new book, “Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You.”
Rosmarin shared with Fox News Digital that overcoming his own journey with anxiety allowed him to better help others.
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In “Thriving with Anxiety,” he writes that he unexpectedly found himself suffering from the disorder as he set up an anxiety clinic in New York City in 2011.
He had already established a name for himself in Boston, but was struggling to get patient referrals in New York while facing mounting expenses and a tough commute between the two cities.
David H. Rosmarin, PhD, recently released a book called “Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You.” (Anthony Randazza/The Center for Anxiety)
Rosmarin writes, “A wave of anxiety swept over me. This was followed quickly by a sense of self-criticism for being hypocritical, followed by a surge of catastrophic thinking.”
He describes feeling embarrassed and “headed for failure” — wondering how he could help people overcome their anxiety when he was suffering from it himself.
“Judging yourself for feeling anxious is like beating someone up when they are on the floor in order to get them to stand,” he said.
But he found a way to become more conscientious about making healthy lifestyle choices – eating more nutritious foods, exercising more frequently, and opening up to others about his challenges.
Hidden benefits of anxiety
People who have anxiety are often conscientious and driven, which can help prime them for leadership roles, the book notes.
Having anxiety can also lead to greater understanding and self-acceptance, according to Rosamarin.
Rosmarin is shown speaking at the Center for Anxiety’s fall retreat in New York on Oct. 18, 2023. (The Center for Anxiety)
Anxiety can also lead to empathy, he told Fox News Digital.
“When someone has been through the depths of difficulty, they can see the struggle on another person’s face,” Rosmarin said.
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“They understand what it means to feel uncomfortable, and it can create that compassion.”
Anxiety is not a malady, he said, but “a normal human emotion that we all experience, and we can use it to improve our inner strength, our relationships with others and our spiritual lives.”
5 tips for managing anxiety
Rosmarin offered the following tips for making the most of anxiety.
1. Lean into it
Instead of trying to avoid anxiety, the key is to face or even embrace it, he said.
“We can criticize ourselves for feeling anxious, get upset about it, run away from it … or we can lean into it,” Rosmarin said.
This requires a “healthy dose of self-compassion,” he said — and a recognition that part of being human is feeling overwhelmed at times.
Rosmarin speaks at the Center for Anxiety’s fall retreat in New York on Oct. 18, 2023. “We can criticize ourselves for feeling anxious, get upset about it, run away from it … or we can lean into it,” he said. (The Center for Anxiety)
2. Practice positive self-talk
Rosmarin suggests in his book that people speak kindly to themselves, allow time away from upsetting situations, and avoid self-deprecating language.
“There are ways to build your physical strength and there are ways to build your emotional fortitude.”
When he changed his inner dialogue to speak more gently to himself, he became more self-aware and found the self-acceptance he needed to forge ahead, he writes.
3. Try exposure therapy
Exposure therapy, a mental health practice in which people face their fears, can also help them withstand adversity rather than let it control them, the psychologist said.
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For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, Rosmarin recommends building resilience by raising your hand at a meeting, wearing something that draws attention to yourself, or even singing karaoke.
The psychologist, shown in inset, details how facing anxiety head-on and approaching it differently can enhance your life. (iStock; Anthony Randazza/The Center for Anxiety)
“You don’t have to do this, but you also don’t have to go to the gym and work out,” he said.
“There are ways to build your physical strength and there are ways to build your emotional fortitude.”
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The goal of this practice is to get to the point where you don’t care anymore if you are anxious — and even though it’s uncomfortable, it’s not going to stop you, he said.
4. Share your fears
The next step is to share your fears with someone, if possible, and reassure yourself that the anxiety won’t last forever, Rosmarin told Fox News Digital.
“Embrace it … let it ride and let yourself feel the feelings,” he advised.
The expert suggests that people speak kindly, give themselves time away from upsetting situations and avoid self-deprecating language. (iStock)
5. Seek calm
The last step, which Rosmarin said is the most important, is to let go.
The psychologist mentioned that humans have a “built-in cooling system” called the “rest and digest” system — which helps the body calm down.
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“We’re human beings, and we don’t have control over everything,” he noted.
“The more we accept that, the more serenity we can have.”
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Rosmarin’s Center for Anxiety now operates clinics in three states, treating nearly 1,500 patients each year, he told Fox News Digital.
“Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You” is published by Harper Horizon.
